In LOVE! :)

Someone asked me,

"Why do you love him so much?"

But before I could even reply

My best friend put her hand over my mouth,

and said..

"Don't even get her started."

Dedicated to the most amazing guy, who means the world to me :) And yes, I LOVE YOU baby :)

Crushes and flings, are a part of growing up. Whats the best thing about them? Well, they help you to realize when it actually gets REAL. Some people prefer staying single, some adapt the 'anti-love' policy and some don't ever muster the courage to give it a shot! Based on 19 years of existence on this planet, I say love, TRUE LOVE is the best thing that can happen to anyone :) However, it is a widely misinterpreted feeling. If you ask me, what my definition of love is, well..just two words, SACRIFICE & SELFLESSNESS.

Loving someone who loves you back, is one of the greatest things in life. If it happens to you, you must have done something good to deserve it :)
(P.S - And I don't care how mushy this blog might sound to some people, because whatever has been written, has been actually felt and is straight from my heart. :) )

1. Remember your first crush? Yea, that hot guy at school? Remember how your heart used to melt when you used to look at him? How you couldn't see anything else,but him. And how long did that feeling last? Few days? Or well, maybe a month or two? It eventually fizzles out and you move on to your next target, the cool soccer-playing guy next door. So when do you know its love? When the feeling refuses to go away, for a long long time, no matter how many hot or cool guys you come across during that time, and no one succeeds in distracting your attention from 'the one', its time to realise that you have been Cupid struck :) The other guys don't matter anymore, nor does their hotness quotient. No one catches your eye, the way he does. Ah! well, he has caught more than just your eye, he has caught your heart!

2. Its the eerie sense of comfort you feel when you are with him. Eerie? Yes, because you can talk about anything and everything to him! You can act stupid in front of him, laugh your funny laugh, tell silly jokes and even cry your heart out. Because, at the end of the day, you know, he loves you for what you are. A bad attempt to make him laugh wouldn't alter what he feels for you. You can totally be YOURSELF with him! And for me, thats the most important thing that matters. No matter how much of a chatterbox I am, no matter how clumsy I am, no matter how many times I trip over when we go to watch a movie, no matter how many times I bang into tables at restaurants, I know I will still be loved the same. I eat his head up with my talks ( :P ), yet he listens to everything I say, listens, not just hears. And since he is there to hold me whenever I fall, I don't mind being clumsy! ;)

3. The MAGIC. No, it doesn't just happen in novels or flicks. And for those of you who are laughing your assess off, well, sorry to say, you haven't been lucky enough to experience the magical touch of love, yet! :) Everything seems magical. It feels like you are living your own fairy tale. There are so many times I catch myself smiling, and I realize I am thinking about him. Everytime his name flashes on the screen on my phone, everytime he holds my hand, everytime he puts his arm around me at movies and everytime he hugs me, I can feel my heart smiling, and skipping beats, ofcourse! :p The feeling of contentment in his arms, irreplaceable, its like I belong there :).Whenever he smiles at me, it fixes everything, melts away all the wrong...:) These feelings warm your heart, meting down all the coldness and sufferings the world has inflicted upon you. And yes, they are the best feelings in the world :)

4. THE BUILT IN BEST FRIEND -Best friendship and a lil romance! He is someone I can share everything with, even the things I am ashamed of. He is there for me, always...to wipe my tears, to share my happiness, to set straight the guys who bother me, to recharge my phone(:P), to give me chocolates(:P) and sometimes, just to hold my hand :) He knows exactly what to say to calm me down, to make me smile, even in the ugliest of my moods :) Thats the thing about love, you know that at the end of the day, no matter what you do, no matter how unlovable you may get at times, no matter how much you argue, your guy will always be there, ready to forgive you, giving your relationship more importance than this ego (which may be really high in a few cases, ahem :P) and thats when you fall in love with him all over again! :)

5.Falling in love makes you a better person! Falling in love makes you love yourself more to! Falling in love makes you see stuff you did not notice before. No, I don't mean the pink elephants or UFO's! The stuff you notice when you are in love was always there,you just never thought it was important before, the little, beautiful things, that hold the potential to give you immense happiness. What the world says, doesn't matter to me anymore! The frustration of a bad day disappears as soon as I hear his voice. You learn to TRUST, trust blindly. Love gives you a million reasons to live. The world is going to throw a million reasons why it won't work, at you. You have to be ready with just one reason, love, if true, can go through anything, and come out unscathed.

But the most important thing about love is when the other person's happiness comes first, than your own. And that is how you actually know if you are in love, its when you just want him to be happy, even when you are not a part of his happiness! If you just want to be with him, not caring about what he wants, well, thats not 'love', thats 'obsession'! And today, when I sit down to pray, unitentionally, effortlessly, his happiness is what I ask for, first. That is what my life revolves around now, to see him happy :)

P.S : Thank 'you' for my making my life so beautiful :) I love you and always will, with everything I have :)

Guess what CANCER? You won! (part -1 )

A 7 year old girl's life revolves around barbies, play houses, kitchen sets, make-up and fake tea parties! Mine revolved around brain tumour, chemotherapy, syringes and those deadly medical equipments.

I still vaguely remember, twelve years back, I was sitting in the balcony with grandpa, feeding bread crumbs to the sparrows. He loved nature. He loved everything that God had created. He never did any harm to His creations - be it humans, or even a tiny little wasp coming to attack him. And we sat there, as the sun was going down the horizon, singing songs, that he had written himself...., calling onto the sparrows. It amazed me how the sparrows weren't a bit afraid of him. His presence didn't scare them at all. And I unintentionally, used to shoo them away, even with the tiniest movement.

The door opened, and there stood the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. She had deep green eyes and such striking features, I used to totally adore her. There stood, my grandma. She was holding a tray with a glass of mango shake for me. And she smiled at me. For a split second I saw the smile getting replaced with a very strange expression, and before I could even think, the tray fell from her hand. The glass smashed into pieces. That was the last time she ever got me something to eat, something she had made herself. And that was the last time, I ever ate mangoes or anything containing them.

She was diagnosed with malignant brain tumour, last stage. My grandpa insisted that she shouldn't come to know, not so soon atleast. They were planning to take her to Delhi. They told her it was just a normal vacation.

I didn't even know what the word 'CANCER' meant. I remember asking my mom that night...

"mom, what is happening to nani?", the innocent 7 year old me asked.

She didn't reply.

"mom, what is cancer?" I tried again.

She made me sit in her lap and spoke in soft,defeated voice...

"Our body is made up of cells. Cancer is when our own cells start killing each other. Thats whats happening to her"

"But she will be okay,won't she? She will be able to make mango shakes again! Soon" I smiled weakly.

And my mom broke into tears. I had got my answer.

My grandma was a very shy person, who hated attending parties. They had been invited to one, which was after few days. And the irony, she was happy to be flown to Delhi.

"Atleast I wouldn't have to attend that party" she smiled at me.

Her hopeful, oblivious smile broke me down.

They operated her but the tumour had spread badly. The doctors told us that she didn't have much time left. That was the first and the last time I saw my grandpa break down. He locked himself up in his room for a day, came out the next morning, smiled at my grandma, held her hand and told her to have faith.

Whenever our lives get momentarily messed up, we think about killing ourself, ending it all. People who think of committing suicide, think of 'choosing' death over life. What they don't realize is...what if DEATH CHOOSES YOU? What if its standing there right in front of you, wearing its black cloak, ready to carry you in its arms and you can't do anything. What they don't realize is how does it feel to know that you can die anytime. And what if you WANT to live? My nani did! She did want to live! She did want to dance when her son got married! She did want to play with her grandchildren. She wanted to make me food I loved.

No, she did not want to die. I could see that on her face. She was SCARED, so scared of death. And now that it sinks in, what she would have been going through at that time. Chemotherapy had caused her long, silky hair to shed. Her eyes were so puffed up that you could hardly see what color they were. She couldn't even hold anything for more than 5 seconds. But she didn't shed a tear. She fought it. I used to run into her arms and cry and she used to smile sheepishly and whisper, "oh! stop crying. I am gonna be there when you get married! Abhi meri umar hi kya hai", followed by a weak laugh. She knew she was gonna die. But she didn't want to accept it.

And the pain she had to go through. I so wish it could all be taken back. The syringes, the pipes being pushed down her nose. The liquid food being pumped into that pipe. She couldn't even taste food during her last months.

She slipped into coma 6 months later. I still remember how me and nanu used to sit by her side, hold her hand and talk to her. I used to tell her jokes and we used to laugh. All in the hope that she would reply, or just say something, or just move a muscle. But nothing. All that moved were the tears that silently trickled out of her eyes. She could hear us. But all she could do was lie there, helpless. But we didn't give up.

4 December 1999

I was sitting by her side and I reached our for her hand. It felt so dry. The skin was shedding off. I rushed to get a moisturising cream and started rubbing it on her hands. As I turned the palm side up, I let out a shriek. I was terrified. My grandpa rushed to me. He saw her palms too. He picked me up and we both cried, hugging each other. She died the next day, peacefully, in coma. Maybe she wouldn't have even realised. Well that was good, wasn't it? Atleast the death part was painless. She would have woken up straight in heaven.

And what was wrong with her palm a day before she died?? Well, all the palm lines had disappeared. Not a tiny stroke left....!

And one day, our story will be told..... (PART-3) (a happy ending in the making....)

After the movie, they went to the nearby restaurant, where they were supposed to meet B, who had finally managed a way to reach there!

They sat in the restaurant…on the same side of the table, holding hands. She just couldn’t stop smiling. Her heart was dancing with joy. ‘God! Is this actually happening? ‘ She asked herself! She drew herself closer to him, keeping her head on his shoulder…

“Oh..” he whispered.

“What?” she looked at him. He had released her hand and was looking at her wrist. There was a red patch there with the impression of the beads of the bracelet she was wearing. They had held hands for so long now that the design on her bracelet had left an impression on her skin, which now, after suddenly coming under notice, had started to itch.

“You could have told me I was hurting you…” he whispered.

“Oh! Never mind this…its nothing!” she removed the bracelet and put it on the table! “And you can never hurt me” she said with an assuring smile.

He smiled back and they held hands again.

Wow! This was just perfect! This was all that she could ever have dreamed of! So, it never had been a one-sided thing! He had had feelings for her all along too! Her heart smiled. She wanted to thank B so much!! She was the one who had always been there for her, assuring her that there was nothing wrong with what she had for him, planning their meets and most importantly, not turning up today! Just as she was about thinking all of this, she looked up to see B entering. And she could never forget the flash of varied emotions she saw on B’s face as she walked up to them….

A greeting smile first, then an expressionless face as her eyes fell on their intertwined hands, a gaze of shock and then a huge grin!

She came and sat opposite to them….she didn’t say anything…and it went on as another normal meeting. And then, it was time for him to go…The worst part of their meetings. They got up and started walking towards the exit. B, who usually used to walk right besides them, started walking a few feet ahead of them and then took a turn towards the parking. He stopped and turned towards her….She smiled at him. The truth was, she hadn’t stopped smiling all along. And then he drew her close and hugged her. A long, warm hug. The best one ever. The one she could never ever forget. She felt so complete in his arms. She had finally found her heaven. She could hear B coughing those teasing coughs from a distance. Who cared? And then tehy started walking again towards the parking….

“Goodbye” he winked at her.

“No goodbyes…, just see you laters!” she winked back. And as his bike disappeared out of the view, she laughed, laughed at the fact that during the first few days of their friendship, she didn’t even know how to wink! Every attempt to a successful wink failed and at every failed attempt that jerk used to tease her. Times had changed. And then she heard B call her name. She had totally forgotten about her…

“yesssss???” she gave her a huge grin.

B hugged her and laughed “Tell me all about it you bitch!!!!”

*8 months later….*

Sometimes, life takes the most unexpected turns. Her took one 8 months back and she couldn’t have been any luckier.

“To love is good, to be loved is great, but to be loved by someone who you love is the greatest thing that can ever happen”

And the greatest thing happened to her! All those wishes on those shooting stars, the wishes on the fallen eyelashes, the wished on her birthday candles….they came true…and she couldn’t have asked for her more.

She has him and that’s all she ever wanted. 8 months have passed and their love just grows stronger with each passing moment. She had always believed in the power of love, but she didn’t know she could love someone so much…..that someone could mean more than her own life to her, that she could die for someone’s happiness.

But now, she knows…she knows what’s it to be in ‘LOVE’. She has felt it, felt the most beautiful feeling ever.

Life isn’t easy, it never will be! But as long as she has him besides her, she can face anything. No matter what the world throws at them, she is ready to face it, with him holding her hand!

No, they are not ‘perfect’! But yes, they are perfect for each other. They can look beyond each other’s imperfections and that’s what matters! They fight, fight like lil kids! Wait for each other to make up for it and then spend days apologizing for it!

She looks out of the window. Its cloudy, not raining, but dark clouds everywhere. Cool breeze tossing her hair around. His favorite kind of weather. 8 months and she still smiles when she thinks about him. There are moments when she doesn’t even know she is smiling and then someone catches her and she feels like a retard…..

Her love for him keeps on getting more n more intense. She can’t sleep without a goodnight wish from him….The days when she doesn’t get to talk to him go horrible! Its like he has become a part of her, a part she can’t even imagine living without, a part without which she cannot survive….

“When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you can’t wait for the rest of your life to start…”

And that’s how she imagines her life ahead. She wants to spend every moment of her life with him, marry him, grow old with him…..! She wants to tell their story to their kids….and wants to see them react. Life is perfect, life will be perfect, perfect enough to ignore all the sorrows….as long as they are together….as long as she has her donkey-monkey in her life….! J

*touchwood*

*a happy ending in the making….* <3

Thank you, Cupid!!

"Pain throws your heart to the ground,

love turns the whole thing around!"

I had always been a fan of love...As a little girl, I used to dream of falling in love, of finding my Mr.Perfect and living happily ever after. And finally, I am living my childhood dream :)

"There is nothing like love! People are too selfish to love unconditionally." my childhood best friend used to say,"yeh sab sirf filmon mai hota hai, love karke sirf pain milta hai!!"

I tried, untiringly, to show her the happy, heavenly side of love. But she was way too stubborn! But I loved 'love'! I loved love stories! And I used to 'awww' at those lovely couples around me...be it my grandparents, or some of my very close friends.

Last April, it was the 2nd year anniversary of two of my very close friends....they were just perfect together! Totally made for each other kinds! I used to feel so happy seeing them together. When I looked at them, unintentionally, a part of my heart would ask God to bless them. So after I wished them the best on the occasion and hung up, I started thinking about how it would be for me. I had not yet found out my Mr.Perfect! Perfect, not as a person, but perfect...for me :) But love takes its own course and life has its own plans! Sometimes, life takes a total turn. Mine took one, but for the good :)

There are very few people who are content with their lives. I wasn't sometime back. I used to always find something to crib about, guilt to hurt me, the pain of lost friendships, but sometimes, some people aren't worth even a thought, let alone regrets. Sad I wasted my time thinking about them......They have themselves helped me to move on...Hating them made things easier :)

And now, I am happy :) I couldn't have asked for more....I am blessed! Thank you God!

My life isn't what you call 'perfect' but I am totally in love with it.

As long as i have LOVE, I can face anything, come what may!

Love gives your life a new meaning, a new dimension...it makes you a better person. Thats what 'he' did to me :) He has made my life beautiful, worth living.....I can relive the past 7 months of my life over and over again....

How he can brighten my each day...how he curses those who hurt me....how he can make me smile without any effort :)

Thats the thing with love! It gives you the reason to get up each day with a big smile on your face! Hearing his voice makes my day....every moment I have spent with him is memorable in its own way....I can face anything, with him holding my hand. Life seems perfect! *touchwood*

Thank you Cupid, for making me fall in love with 'him'! Thank you Cupid, for making him fall in love with me too! :)

The comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

It doesn't matter anymore what the worlds thinks or says :)

It doesn't matter anymore what people who hate me say, they can take their illusions along with them and go to hell! We won't miss them :)

And one day, our story will be told..... (PART-2)

On her way back home she cried and cried. He could never be hers. He didn't even consider her a girl, he considered her a stupid silly crazy monkey. He could never feel anything more than friendship for her. She had truly fell in love for the first time and she was losing it right away. Wait! it never was hers in the first place! The words stabbed her like knives. She wiped her tears and prayed to God, asking for his happiness, whether it included her or not. And thats why she knew she was actually in love, that it wasn't just infatuation because now, all she desired was him to be happy.She could do anything for his happiness, anything, She could kill and get killed. She wiped her tears again. There wasn't anything else she could do, was there?

On reaching home, she immediately switched on her laptop to update her facebook status. But he had already updated one...

"Leaving my heart behind with you, keep it safe."

She read it again, and again. Facebook must have crashed! This just wasn't possible! Who was he leaving her heart with!??? Deifinitely not her! No, no way! Some other girl then? But he used to tell her everything...then what was this about! She knew he could not have meant it for her...if he had to dedicate her a status, it would have been more like insults...but this? She picked up her phone, speed dialled his number, but before it could get through, she disconnected it....! She had had enough for the day...The last thing she would like to hear him say today would be "oh it is for some other girl I haven fallen in love with! You got to meeet her!" or "don't tell me you thought it was for you! LOL in your face!" She put the phone down and went to her balcony. She leaned on the parapet and let the cool breeze wash her face....

Why did we fall in love with those who could never be ours? Why couldn't we fall in love with those who would love us back? Why couldn't that silly fat Cupid strike two people at the same time? Why? She asked again. Tell me! But, no one gave her any explainations. What she didn't know was, that someday, she would be getting all the answers!

Tired of thinking, tired of calming those screams inside, she slept....

*1 WEEK LATER*

"Hey I am home" he said

"Wha aat?"she stammered,"you said you won't be here for another MONTH!"

"Sooooo? Should I go back?" he chuckled.

"uhh! Shut up! So I will catch you tomorrow morning! Be there in time you jerk!" she said and hung up.

She called her best friend (lets name her B! Its tiring to write 'best friend' again and again! Long word, it is!) So she called up B and told her of the plan.

Next morning, she was the first one to reach the theatre. (Nothing new!). She was waiting for them when B called her up...

"Where are you bitch?" she yelled at the phone

"heyyyy! I guess I won't be able to make it!" she replied.

"what the f*ck do you mean you won't be able to make it?" she yelled again

"uh! MEANS I won't be able to come! There is no one to drop me!"

"I don't care!! Do something! C'mon B! Please don't cancel the plan!", she shrieked.

"Shut up!",she snapped,"why don't you two hang out today? whats the big deal you bitch?" she said.

She and him together??? B helped her to camoflauge what was actually going in her mind! What would she do alone?

"Fine!" She snapped and hung up!

She waited for him in the parking. As usual, he was late. He came 15 minutes after the movie had started. He was wearing a white tee and blue jeans. Sexy! She couldn't stop staring at him. He looked perfect, too perfect to be real. She thanked God her jaw didn't drop, literally!

"What? You want us to get late for the movie? C'mon! Lets rush!"he chuckled,"hey wait! where is B" he added in a hurry.

"err..she couldn't make it today" she told him as they walked to the hall.

"Does that mean its just the two of us today?" he chuckled

Her heart skipped a beat. She knew she was blushing!

"Well, are you scared of me?" she giggled.

"very!" he laughed back.

With great difficulty, they made their way to their seats. She tripped atleast a dozen times and each time he told her to be careful.

She stared at the screen, brows furrowed, trying to make some sense out of what was happening.

"damn!"she said,"we missed a good 20 minutes! All because of you jerk", she snapped at him

"damn!" he mimicked her, " missing 20 minutes of 'lafangey parindey'??! Our life is destroyed now"

They laughed.

She resorted back to staring at the screen. From the corner of her eyes, she could sense him staring at her. But she wasn't sure. She turned towards him to find that she was right. His face was turned in her direction. To avoid embarrasment, she started off again. "you made me miss the movie!!!!" she punched his shoulder. He smiled back. She punched his thigh next. Another one, another and gave a couple of them to him.. As she was going for another one, he immediately put his hand on his thigh..opened...palm facing up...and her hand landed directly on his. Unsure of what he wanted her to do and what she should be doing, she gently opened her fingers, without withdrawing her hand back. He gently arranged his fingers into the spaces between hers and held her hand firmly. Gentle,but firm. Thats exactly how he was.

They both looked at their hands and sighed.

Her heart beats were running a marathon. She wanted someone to pinch her and wake her up from this dream!! This couldn't be happening! This couldn't be real!! Had he just held her hand????

And as she was thinking, he leaned closer. Her eyes were still fixed on their hands. His face was turned towards hers. He kissed her on the cheek. A gentle peck. She could feel him smiling. And she could feel her cheeks burning. She could bet he would be able to see her blush even in this dark theatre. She realised she wasn't breathing. She managed a gentle sigh.

She gently turned to face him, eyes fixed down. He held her face in his hands, drew himself closer and gently kissed her forehead. He leaned back onto his seat. So did she. Their hands still intertwined. She shifted towards him and slowly placed her head on his shoulder.

She couldn't have been more thankful to B for not turning up! They both stared at the screen.And in the entire remaining two hours, they sat the same way. Not even when the lights went on in the interval, did they stir. Not a word spoken, not an inch moved. Hands held tightly, she leaning on his shoulder and they stared at the big screen...... None of them watched the movie that day though......

And one day, our story will be told....(PART1)

"I guess I will get some sleep...I am too tired. Good night buddy!" She smiled into the phone. A good night wish from him..her perfect ending to each day!

"Do you know what?" he asked.

Damn! She knew it was another one of his tricks to pull her leg...He had always been a jerk..and so had she! They fought..insulted each other and then laughed! Each day they would think of comebacks at each other, to revenge yesterday's embarrasments! But thats what best friends did and thats what they were! He was the bestest of friend she ever had!

"What now, jerk?" she said, rubbing her eyes..."you know i am dead tired!"

"You are beautiful!" he whispered!

*Silence* Ofcourse he had complimented her before but the words used were 'hot','sexy','bomb' and what not! But 'beautiful' wasn't a word that she had ever heard him speak....not for girls atleast!

"aah! Shut up...I am not like other girls dude! haha! You have always been like this..a biiiig flirt...now you have started flirting with me too? Geeez! You dog! How will your girlfriend tolerate you??? She would probably commit suicide.." she laughed.

A *sigh* was his reply. That wasn't what she had expected! She had expected him to laugh with her...Before she could gather the words to speak....he broke the silence..

"Good night baby, sleep well"

"okay donkey monkey" she giggled!

"Sweet dreams" he said in the sweetest way possible.

"What's wrong with you? I called you donkey monkey! Aren't you gonna call me names too?Losing the battle, hmm?" she giggled again!

"well, I guess I will let you win today" and he hung up.

Why was he doing this. She knew she loved him, loved him madly....but she didn't know how he would react! So she had decided it would be better if they just stayed the best of friends and she was doing the best she could! She never let him feel it, atleast tried! She knew how difficult it was to push back the blood that made here cheeks blush whenever they met, to calm the butterflies who went crazy whenever he was near and to slower down her heart beats. Sometimes sh e was scared if they were loud enough to be heard by him too! And what was he doing? Making things even more difficult for her! She didn't know what to do! To be happy because he was her friend or to be sad because that was all he would ever be!!....And then the perfect solution struck her..and she slept into the darkness...

*1 Month 15 days later*

She looked out of her window. Clear August sky. She was waiting for his call. So finally, he was going away...to a new place, away from Jammu. ah! well, not so far away too...but what matters was he was moving towards a new life, a new college, new friends! What if things changed? Even though he had promised her a dozen of times that nothing would, yet she knew change was inevitable! She would be here, all alone! What if he got too busy and they couldn't talk anymore? Worst! What if he got a girlfriend there!? Images rushed to her mind...he and some other girl....she couldn't see her clearly, walking hand in hand. *sigh* She did her best to clear those images out of her mind! It killed her a little inside every time she thought of him with another girl, but somewhere she knew she would have to face it someday! But she was not ready...not yet atleast!

She threw things into her handbag and rushed. She and her best friend were supposed to meet him today....a little farewell treat to him! They waited for him in a local restaurant, bu the super sexy weather outside tempted them to go on a drive. He stopped his car right in front of them. And thats the thing with the 'girl' best friends, they understand what you don't speak! Her best friend immediately slid into the backseat. Something inside her smiled. She sat on the front seat, acting as normal as she could. They drove and drove and talked and laughed. Suddenly,her cellphone slid into the right side of her seat, deep into the gear box. She slid her hand into the narrow space to get it, and *sigh* he moved his hand to change the gear. Their hands touched. She immediately withdrew her hand and looked outside the window. She could still feel the static. From the corner of her eye, she could bet she saw him smile!

They got into a cosy restaurant. Being a week day as it was, there was hardly anyone there. And once again her best friend showed her loyalty and excused herself for the washroom and found some monkeys on the opposite of the window and devoted a good 20 minutes in chatting with them...She couldn't have been more grateful to her best friend for takin so sudden keen interest in monkeys and nor to the monkey for keeping her engrossed!

*silence* She could feel the tears gathering in her eyes. This was his last night in Jammu. She wouldn't see him for a month atleast!.

"Look at me" he said politely

She turned towards him, eyes facing down.

He leaned closer. Her heartbeats raced. He drew his face closer to hers...She could almost hear her heart shouting and the butterflies doing somersaults! And then, he bumped her head into hers and laughed. So like that jerk!

"ouchhhh you dog" she giggled....

He just looked at her and smiled. After little sweet, goodbyes they left! On her way back home she cried and cried. He could never be hers. He didn't even consider he a girl, he considered her a stupid silly crazy monkey. He could never feel anything more than friendship for her. She had truly fell in love for the first time and she was losing it right away. Wait! it never was hers in the first place! The words stabbed her like knives. She wiped her tears and prayed to God, asking for his happiness, whether it included her or not. And thats why she knew she was actually in love, that it wasn't just infatuation because now, all she desired was him to be happy.She could do anything for his happiness, anything, She could kill and get killed. She wiped her tears again. There wasn't anything else she could do, was there?

On reaching home, she immediately switched on her laptop to update her facebook status. But he had already updated one...

"Leaving my heart behind with you, keep it safe."

*to be contdd*